RSVP stands for the French “Répondez s'il vous plaît”, please reply. Some cards say “Kindly confirm your attendance” instead; the two mean exactly the same thing. Reception venues charge per table or per guest and ask for final numbers a few days before, so your guest list tells you who you invited while RSVPs tell you who is actually coming. This post covers the wording side; for what to ask and how replies become a head count, see /blog/rsvp-explained-for-couples.

Paper RSVP versus online RSVP

  • On paper, guests phone, message or post back a reply card, and you record answers by hand. Online, they tap and send on the card itself.
  • On paper, you add up numbers yourself and miss some. Online, replies collect at /dashboard/rsvp with attendance and party size for each.
  • On paper, a change of mind means remembering to fix your notebook. Online, a guest replying again through their personal link replaces their earlier answer.
  • On paper, finding who has not replied means checking every name. Online, your guest list filters guests still awaiting an RSVP.

How to word RSVP on the card

RSVP on its own is not enough. Guests need to know by when, and how.

  • “RSVP by November 15”: modern or bilingual cards.
  • “Please confirm your attendance by November 15”: the clearest choice for guests of every age.
  • “Kindly RSVP by November 15th”: English-language cards or international guests.
  • “Regrets only”: guests reply only if they cannot come. It rarely suits weddings, because you never know for sure who is coming.
  • “Confirm attendance”: the heading of the reply form on an online card.

Always give a deadline

Set the deadline 10 to 14 days before the party, so you have a few days to chase late replies before giving the venue your numbers. Write a specific date, never “as soon as possible”.

Setting it up as a couple

  1. Add the RSVP widget to a section near the end of your card, or turn on the RSVP section in the form card builder. Put a line with your deadline above it.
  2. Add guests at /dashboard/guests and send each their personal link, which shows their name on the card. When they reply through it, their status in the guest list updates to attending or not attending.
  3. Watch replies at /dashboard/rsvp and plan tables by the number of people, not the number of replies, since one reply can be a whole family. Export CSV before you call the venue.
  4. After publishing, open the real link on your phone, send a test reply, check it arrives, then delete it so your counts stay accurate.

Replying as a guest

Replying on an online card

  1. Open the link and scroll to the RSVP section.
  2. Enter your name. With a personal link, the card already shows it.
  3. Choose whether you will attend and how many people are coming.
  4. Add a short note if you like, then send.

Reply even if you cannot come

Many people think there is no need to reply if they are not going. In fact “not attending” saves the couple a seat and a follow-up message. Decline on the form, and send a wish separately if you want to.

Count only the people invited

The number you enter is the number of seats the couple will prepare. If you want to bring someone the card did not mention, ask first rather than adding them.

Changing your answer

If you opened the card through a personal link with your name, just send the form again and your new answer replaces the old one. With the general link, a second submission creates a new reply, so message the couple directly and they can tidy it up.

Reminder lines you can copy

  • On the card: “Your presence is our joy. Please let us know by November 15.”
  • On the card: “Kindly confirm by November 15 so we can prepare your seat.”
  • With the link: “Hi Lan, we're getting married next month! Here is your invitation. Could you tap RSVP by November 15?”
  • To elders: “We would be honored to have you at our wedding. Please take a look at the card and tap to confirm, and call us if anything is unclear.”
  • Reminder: “Hi Nam, we're confirming numbers with the venue. Could you RSVP today or tomorrow? Let us know even if you can't make it.”

When to rely on RSVP, and when to just call

  • Use it fully for restaurant receptions charged per table, separate parties for each family, many out-of-town guests, or a small seated dinner.
  • Keep it simple for open-house home parties: just ask whether people are coming.
  • Call grandparents and elders who rarely use phones, then update their status in your guest list yourself.